Gender-Neutral Parenting

There was a lot of talk about gender-neutral parenting this week. Several articles highlighted an interview with “Dr. Who” star Jodie Whitaker and her experiences with gender-neutral parenting while growing up. She stated that, “My brother and I were raised gender neutral before it was even considered a thing.” She continued explaining, “My brother and I have been raised genderless even before this was considered important. We have been given the same opportunities and we have been invited to do the same activities.”

One article interviewed parents’ decision to raise their child to be gender neutral. When asked about the importance of gender-neutral parenting they responded with, “Gender neutral parenting is not an approach, but a part of the natural way of parenting. Gender stereotypes are an outcome of a man-made system and not nature. We start with empathy and respect. In our house, we all are equal partners in raising Neo.”

Another article interviewing a parent about gender-neutral parenting mentioned that, “When I had my kids, I didn’t know about gender neutral pronouns, and initially used the standard ‘he’, ‘she’ pronouns assigned to my children. When I became aware of the possibility to choose one’s own, however, I offered this to my children too.”

One article for an advice column mentioned parents who were raising their daughter to be gender neutral, avoiding traditional gender roles, but were frustrated with their 3 year old daughter’s obsession with pink dresses. The advice column stated, “Pink, puffy dresses should not be the only option available to girls, nor should they be for girls exclusively. However, that doesn’t mean that something is inherently wrong with the garments themselves.” 

They continued explaining, “It seems to be that the goal for shielding a child from gendered clothing and activities would be to allow them to define their identity without having it assigned to them by their parents and society at large. But the “gender-neutral” clothing you have selected has led to your daughter being misgendered for a reason, and that’s because what we consider “neutral” in terms of gender often defaults to a masculine norm. ‘Boys clothes’ are for everyone. ‘Girls clothes’ are for girls.”